From Military Service to Teen Mental Health: Navigating Life's Adversities with Jamie Bateman

00:00:00
Here's an episode where I was a guest on my friend Aaron Hale's podcast. Aaron was on my podcast a while back and he's got a fascinating story that you really need to check out. He was in an eod, a bomb explosion overseas years ago and became blind and deaf and is just crushing it. He interviews me on this episode and we talk about how to get unstuck. We talk about mental health, and I get pretty specific about some real serious and challenging situations we've had to deal with in my own family, with my son in particular, and how it's all about your perspective in dealing with these challenges.

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So you're going to get a lot of valuable points that we discuss regarding happiness, taking ownership, dealing with challenges as they come along, because they're guaranteed to come along. And it's just a real fun but important and informative conversation that we had together. So definitely check this one out. Welcome to the from adversity to abundance podcast. Are you an entrepreneur or aspiring entrepreneur?

00:01:28
Then this show is for you. Each week we bring you impactful stories of real people who have overcome painful human adversity to create a life of abundance. A life of abundance. You are not alone in your struggle. Join us and you will experience the power of true stories and gain practical knowledge from founders who have turned poverty into prosperity and weakness into wealth.

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This podcast will encourage you, through your health, relationship and financial challenges so you can become the hero in your quest for freedom. Take ownership of the life you are destined to live. Turn your adversity into abundance.

00:02:17
Jamie, my friend, welcome to the show. Oh, Aaron, thanks for having me, man. This is going to be a fun chat. It's been a little while since I was on your show.

00:02:29
I want to start off just introduce you in the preamble, but we've known each other virtually for a little while now, and you've got a similar show, adversity to the bullets. I want to ask you from all the people you've spoken to and your experiences and talking to people who have experienced adversity, maybe it's self afflicted, sometimes it's situational, but what do you think are the biggest mistakes people are making that get them stuck in these situations? Sure. Yeah. Great question.

00:03:17
And you're right. My show from adversity to abundance, which you were on, I just checked and your episode came out in September of 2022, episode 24. So we're almost at 100 now. And you were in that first quarter, so that was a fantastic episode. I definitely recommend your listener go back and listen to that.

00:03:43
You're absolutely right. I've been able to pull out some lessons learned from our guests and different themes to figure out kind of how our listener and anyone can apply the lessons that my guests have been through in their life. So instead of having to go through the same adversity and learn the same lessons over and over and over, learn from the person who's already got the scars. Right. And that's the point of my show, is to try and inspire people.

00:04:19
Because the fact is, like you said, Aaron, some adversity is self inflicted. Absolutely. No question about it. I've had drug addicts on the show, and you could probably argue that that's largely self inflicted. I mean, you could argue it either way, I guess.

00:04:40
But then we've had other people that have had a medical diagnosis or an explosion overseas like you did.

00:04:53
I would argue that you didn't bring that on to yourself. Right. Some adversity is self inflicted and other adversity is not. But I think for one, it's taking the long term view. To answer your question more directly, I think one lesson learned is take the long term view.

00:05:13
So when you're in the thick of it or when you're stuck or when you're going through a hard time, which we are all guaranteed to go through, just know that it won't last forever. And so I think for me, that's been a key piece both in my personal and business life, but also from the guests that we've had on my show, is that you've got to be able to take that long term view when you're going through both good and bad and realize that that situation is not going to last forever. It's not permanent. Plenty of other lessons that I've learned along the way. Another comes to mind, which is you should take the approach of even if versus what if.

00:05:57
What if can be a very dangerous way of thinking. Whereas if you take the approach, even if this bad thing happens, I'll still be okay. I've been through bad things before. And then lastly, the other thing that comes to mind is compounding. You mentioned the term compounding.

00:06:15
Before we hit record how your show is starting to compound in listenership, which is awesome.

00:06:23
In a bad way, you can take a problem or adversity and compound that situation and create more problems that weren't necessary. Right. So we've had maybe you get a medical diagnosis, and then, because that is extremely painful and challenging, you start drinking or something to an extreme, and that's only going to compound your problem. Right. So I think compounding the problem is one major issue out there.

00:06:59
So, yeah, there's so many other lessons. I know I'm rambling at this point, but I think taking ownership of the situation, whether or not you created the situation, is critical because I know you and I are both military guys. Jocko Willink has a book he put out a few years ago called extreme ownership, and he talks about whether or not you created this situation that you're in, this challenge, this adversity that you're dealing with. You are in this situation, and the best way to deal with it is to own it and step up to the plate and deal with it head on. So don't ignore it, and don't compound the situation by not owning the situation that you're in.

00:07:44
Love. The question. I was just saying there's three great points right there. First, taking ownership instead of being the victim. Right?

00:07:56
Absolutely. When you're a victim of the situation, there really is no answer because you're just waiting for the situation to fix itself. Once you take ownership of it, the situation itself changes. We take ownership of our ability to maneuver, to decide, to take action. Absolutely.

00:08:18
Of course. You said that. Take that long view. Remember what you're working towards. If we have too short of view, we get caught up in the whirlwind, to quote the four disciplines of execution.

00:08:36
The whirlwind being the day to day busyness. And it's the same with problems. We get too bogged down thinking about the problem rather than the solution or the reason we're doing it in the first place. Well, you just reminded just one thing. If I could chime in briefly.

00:08:57
I just listened. I'm almost done to a very recent episode on the Diary of a CEO. Another podcast. We'll throw a third podcast in here. And the most recent episode is with the world's number one happiness coach.

00:09:20
And yes, we are all victims. I mean, you were a victim for sure, right, in the explosion you went through. But does it do you any good to constantly focus on being a victim and not stepping up and owning that situation? No, it really doesn't. At the end, right, the end of the day, we have much more control if we focus on, like you said, Aaron, the solution and the actions and the steps we can take toward addressing the situation.

00:09:47
No question about it. Couldn't agree more of. And to touch on that third point about compounding, it works both ways, just like compounding interest. Either it's working for us with our investments or working against us with credit card debt, it compounds over time. Same with our problems.

00:10:13
If we don't deal with them, we don't take action. I call it Newton's first law of kicking ass. A body in motion tends to stay in motion. And it's the same for taking action in your own life, right? You either let the problems compound and ignore them, and they do seem to pile up over time, or you just take action and move forward, even if it's step by step, one thing at a time, and you just put it prioritize and move forward.

00:11:01
Those are the three incredible points right off the bat. And one thing I want to point out, too, is with this phenomenal expert on happiness, is that he mentioned that the struggle. So one of the key components to happiness is actually that we need struggle and we need adversity to actually create that happiness. So, yes, our minds are wired to look toward the negative and focus on the negative. For evolutionary reasons.

00:11:34
We're wired that way for sure. But at the same time, you do actually need that struggle and that pain and that adversity to really have a fulfilling and happy life. It's counterintuitive, but the fact is, it's actually a key ingredient to happiness. And joy and fulfillment and purpose is going through the struggle, going through the pain. So to ignore that and to cover it up with substances or anything else, you're not going to experience a full life.

00:12:10
So, yeah, it's easy for us to talk about it on a podcast when we're not going through a difficult time right now, of course, I get that. But if you can keep that big picture view in mind and realize, hey, I'm meant to go through some pain. I'm meant to go through a hard time. Life is not all rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. So this is, okay, this is part of life, right?

00:12:33
And that this is actually a key ingredient to my own happiness and to me serving my purpose on this earth, that helps keep things in perspective and for me, that helps kind of navigate a rough situation and helps me take ownership, like you were just talking about, Aaron is dealing with the situation and taking action, taking steps to better the situation and move forward. So, yeah, I just wanted to throw that point in there. Framing how we look at life really is a common thread among high, productive, highly productive people, successful, wealthy people, just how we phrase certain things. I was just talking to a friend, Diego Corso, who said, instead of saying, I have to say, I get to. And it comes down to, I just read it was published on Facebook or something, and it was like, I would love to do this, but I have to watch my niece today.

00:13:50
Or you could say, I'd love to do that, but I get to spend the afternoon with my niece today and connect with how we frame the world around us. It is absolutely very briefly. I was at the bank the other day and the teller said, she said, oh, it was your birthday the other day. And I said, yeah, I'm getting old because I just turned 48. I was kind of just sort of complaining or maybe making fun of myself.

00:14:23
And she said, well, that sure is a blessing. And I said, absolutely, you're 100% right. The fact that I've made it 48 years and I've been blessed to be on this earth for 48 years, that's how I should be looking at this. Not that my knees ache or that I'm getting old. So, I mean, perspective is huge.

00:14:47
It doesn't.

00:14:52
I recently had a birthday, also just turned 46. Nice. Happy birthday. For the whole year, I thought I was about to turn 45. So it's like when you.

00:15:06
All Sunday long, you think it's Saturday? Yeah, absolutely. Except I had that for a year.

00:15:19
Obvious sign I'm getting old. But it is. It's just how we picture things. We frame our mindset, the beliefs we hold. And you're talking about world renowned happiness coach.

00:15:39
And I always go to one of my favorite books. I mentioned it all the time, probably once every other podcast episode. I mentioned the happiness advantage by Sean Acre. And there are, I think he has seven principles of happiness, and one of them is all about perspective. And the one is the fulcrum and the lever.

00:16:08
Right. And for one person who has to do something today, it might be a difficult day. But for somebody who gets to do something, the day in the activity is a gift. And while you're talking about, we need the adversity, we need the struggle, we do need to toil because that's a component of achievement.

00:16:45
Without the work, how do we achieve anything? And that's one of those personal needs of the human psyche. We need to feel achievement, and we need that feeling of there's meaning in our lives that we mean we have value. And it all comes down to if we get to do something today, whether it's hard work or just get to. Have a birthday, and it doesn't mean we're changing.

00:17:24
We're living in some fantasy world by being all positive and pretending that we don't have problems or something like that, that's not it at all. We're acknowledging that this is the situation. We're in. We're owning the situation, the adversity that we're going through. But in particular, yeah.

00:17:44
Can have a huge influence on how things progress and how much impact you have on people and how much abundance you end up living in, in your own life, for sure. So it's not a fantasy world. We're still living in reality. But you're absolutely right that your perspective is critical to how you navigate a challenging situation and how you become the best version of yourself.

00:18:12
You mentioned Jacob Wellick and extreme ownership. And as soon as you said that, I was thinking about how it's not like we're ignoring the problems or have this false sense of optimism or hope or just feeling our feelings. And just like Jaco, somebody comes to him and says, okay, we're running low in ammunition, the enemy is all around us and we're short a few men. And Jaco would respond, good. We have an opportunity to face a real challenge and learn from it and overcome.

00:19:00
Right? Yeah. So as soon as you frame it good, I get to face a challenge, then the hardship itself doesn't seem so hard. Absolutely, for sure. Yeah.

00:19:18
And I think you mentioned just before we started recording that you've faced some challenges recently. Anything you care to mention? Well, no, everything's been perfectly. It's all rainbows and unicorns and butterflies for me, but for everyone else. No, I'm kidding.

00:19:41
Yeah, you're absolutely right. And on my show, I always make the kind of caveat or disclaimer that, yes, my show is called from adversity to abundance. That doesn't mean that you go through adversity and now you live in abundance for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean that you don't go through additional adversity. Right.

00:20:03
And so I've had plenty of ups and downs in my own life recently. Within the last year and a half, we've dealt with some real challenges in our family. And I won't get into all the specifics, but we've dealt with some serious issues, particularly with my son and his health and particularly mental health. And he's 14, so I'll let some years go by where he can decide how much he wants to share out there publicly. But I will tell you that around this time last year, in January of last year, is when things really started to decline significantly in our house and in our home.

00:20:54
I had a lot of business stress going on at that time as well, which I think, speaking of compounding, I do think the two things are somewhat related, that there was just a lot of stress in our home in general. I have a wife and two kids. We live in Maryland. Just for a little bit more context, two teenage children, and our son ended up going through some very serious mental health challenges. He's on the autism spectrum, autism disorder spectrum, if you will, but additionally went through some very serious mental health challenges separate from that.

00:21:38
And then recently we found out that he actually has a genetic condition. We didn't find this out for about. He's 14, and we didn't know for 14 years that he's had this very rare genetic condition since he was in the womb. So he was in and out of psychiatric hospitals in the first quarter of 2023. And needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, is that it put an incredible amount of stress on our family.

00:22:15
And, yeah, I'm happy to kind of discuss some of the ways we navigated that. I'm also very happy to say that right now, as we record this, January 19, 2024, both the business situation and the situation with my son's mental health have improved dramatically. And so are we out of the woods yet? No, I wouldn't say that. But I'm just so grateful because we did go through such a challenging time.

00:22:53
I am so grateful to say that things are stable and generally happy at home. I will tell you that this is something that we're facing a mental health crisis in our country. So as much as I'd love to say my son's situation was an isolated incident, and that's just not the case. If you look across the country, I think the pandemic had a massive effect on kids and teenagers in a negative way and the shutdowns, not to get too political there, but I think it really caused some serious anguish and anxiety and depression amongst teenagers. And couple that with social media and some other factors, for sure, I think we're facing a real crisis that many people haven't even acknowledged yet.

00:23:47
And unfortunately for us at home, that was front and center, and it was extremely challenging in many ways that I won't get into. But, yeah, I'm just thankful that everybody's alive and well at this point.

00:24:08
That age is. This is a difficult time for any kid, boys, girls.

00:24:17
That's a period of transition from childhood into adulthood, and no point in human life. Are there more changes mentally, physically, otherwise, socially? Absolutely. In such a short time frame, they literally become different people. For sure.

00:24:45
In my son's case, he actually didn't speak more than maybe a couple of words per week to us. He didn't speak for about four or five months while he was going through some very serious mental health challenges. So that makes it difficult on the parents and the rest of the family. Because. You don't know if he's choosing this, meaning choosing not to speak or just is unable to, and you don't know what he's going through, and he still doesn't say a whole lot.

00:25:20
He's becoming a man, a few words. He's a boy. A few words. Becoming a man, a few words. But when the person going through this situation isn't able to convey or doesn't convey what they're going through, it's very difficult to help.

00:25:38
And so that made it extra challenging, for sure. Now that we have this recent information about his genetic condition, which I'm seeing as a total blessing, by the way, that the information, we understand more now that a lot of kids with this genetic condition actually never speak or have very serious speech disorders. So that helps me with empathy as well, to be honest with you, because it's like, okay, he's not just being a jerk, he just can't speak right know, there's a lot to navigate there, and we've been through a lot as a family, and this is not to have a pity party for Jamie and his family. It's just to say, hey, this is know, people might see me on social media or see me talking about business success and everything, and that's great. And that's.

00:26:37
That. That's not that. That's fake. But there are also some real challenging times that I've personally been through and we've been through at home. The mental health piece, I think, is critical, and I want to have more and more guests on my show to address that topic.

00:26:56
I do think it's very complicated. It has to do with physical health as well. It's not some isolated thing, but it's still kind of a nebulous topic dealing with just mental health and mental challenges, mental adversity. It's a very complicated area that I think we're only scratching the surface on, but, yeah, anyway, I'm just very grateful to be where we are. I think one of the key takeaways, Aaron, that I have from that situation, and it's not 100% in the rear view mirror, but one of the key takeaways is focusing on what you can control.

00:27:38
And I'll give you a quick example of what I mean.

00:27:44
When my son was in the hospital, I'm spending hours and hours researching all these hypothetical, all these possible situation or drivers for this situation. Does he have bipolar disorder? Does he have a brain tumor? Does he have some mitochondrial disorder? All these rabbit holes where I'd spend hours and hours reading?

00:28:08
And, yeah, it's great to gather information, but at the end of the day, on some level, it kind of doesn't matter because I can't control that anyway, one of the takeaways was, hey, I'm not going to have all the information. I'm going to keep pursuing and trying to gather more information, but knowing that I'm not going to have all the information and just take it one day at a time and focus on what you can control. That's been critical for us at home as we navigate this situation. And do your best not to create hypochondria by proxy, all the potential illnesses that your son may be suffering from. I tell you what.

00:28:56
Absolutely. He's lucky to have parents who love him so much and care so much about his well being. You're lucky to have the opportunity to put that effort in. That's right. Show your family, your son, how much his father cares for him.

00:29:17
Yeah, well, you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. It's a topic I get a little passionate about. So recently. I want to share how I approach this with my son.

00:29:31
When we found out that. So the condition he has is called Med 13 l. It's very rare. They're just learning more and more about it. Med 13 l, he has that genetic condition where there's a misspelling in his genes, and your listener can google it, of course, but we just found this out within two months.

00:29:55
And so the way I framed this, this gets back to your point, Aaron, about perspective, right? And framing things, how we approach things. So what I told him was that I said, you can look at this as though, why me? Most kids don't have this med 13 l genetic condition because we shared the information with him about his condition. And I said, you can look at this as I'm a victim.

00:30:22
Why did God give me this genetic misspelling? Most kids don't have this problem or this challenge. It's not fair. Life is not fair. Or you can say, hey, among the kids who have this or people who have this genetic condition, I'm one of the few who actually can speak.

00:30:42
And, I mean, there are many people who have serious muscular and skeletal challenges with this if they have this genetic condition. Many of these kids have serious heart conditions that lead to a very challenging life, if not death. And so if you compare my son's situation to kind of the broader group of people who have been diagnosed with this genetic condition. He's super lucky. So I said, hey, you're really lucky.

00:31:17
That's how you can look at this. You can opt to look at it as, I'm a victim or I'm really lucky. And we're not changing the facts of anything. That's the situation he's in, no matter how he chooses to look at it. Right.

00:31:31
I think he's going to live a much better life if he, in the end, chooses to look at this as, I'm blessed, I'm lucky, things could be so much worse. And the other thing I mentioned to him was, hey, you're one of the rare cases at Johns Hopkins hospital they want to study. I said, you're cutting edge, man. This is really cool. They want to study and learn from you.

00:31:55
And his eyes lit up, and he said, he's really interested now in doing more dna testing and more genetic testing on himself because he didn't have that interest, and now he does.

00:32:09
It is 100% about your perspective. It's easier said than done. It's easy for you and I to talk about this on a podcast and tell people what they should do. But that is a recent example of how I tried to help him, help my son frame his perspective as we go through this adversity, the same as. When you mentioned the ebb and flow of adversity and abundance.

00:32:36
It's almost like it's cyclic or there are tides to it. We go through our challenges. It's internal as well as external. And we're not always in one or the other. We're not only always facing adversity or challenge, or only always in a state of abundance.

00:33:05
That mindset, that perspective that we've been talking about, it's a practice like meditation or working out. Sure. It's not a habit. It's more of a routine where you've got to remind yourself that this is the way I should be thinking about this. And it doesn't always work.

00:33:29
We get down on ourselves. Even the strongest willpower and the strongest mindset. Every once in a while, doubt and fear and anger and all those other emotions that are negative and self defeating still come. Get in. Right.

00:33:49
A great example of a case study where for four years, I had that right mindset about being blind, and then I go deaf, and I was not very a positive person for a little while. Wasn't great to be around because I was thinking, why me? Again? Sure. Why does this have to happen to the same person not to talk about me on the show, I brought you on that, talked about you.

00:34:31
But you make a great point there where you don't just kind of lock in on a mindset. It takes practice. Absolutely. And my wife will make fun of me sometimes because my podcast is supposed to be positive and inspirational, and I'm always talking about this kind of thing. But the reality is, I have bad days.

00:34:57
I complain like anyone else. Right. So she'll kind of call me out if I'm getting a little too negative. And that's not to say negative emotions are bad, by the way. I think I'm trying to see that positive and negative, all emotions are actually good.

00:35:18
Negative emotions aren't bad. It's just, what do you do with them? Right? And they're very real, and they're there for a reason, and they've kept us alive over the anger, sadness. Those aren't bad things.

00:35:35
That's okay. Right. And I think that's part of it, is just accepting that having negative emotions is not a bad thing. But do you stay there? Do you stay there?

00:35:43
How long do you stay there and wallow and play that victim card? I don't think anyone would blame you, Aaron, for having that approach to your own situation. I don't know what that's like. I don't know if I would have stayed there mentally for ten years. I don't know.

00:36:04
But it likely didn't. Objectively speaking, it didn't probably serve you or the people around you. I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just, as a case study, like you said, did it help you to stay there mentally? I doubt it.

00:36:21
Right. And another interesting point to bring up here is I do actually think. And the doctor talked about this on this episode of the Diary of a CEO. He says that in our society, empathy actually has been a little bit overvalued. And what we really need is compassion.

00:36:42
So if you look at someone who's going through a really tough situation, it doesn't mean that you need to necessarily feel that exact pain, because I don't know the pain that you went through, Aaron, and I really can't. Right. So he draws a distinction between empathy and compassion. And sometimes what people actually need is compassion, something that's actually understanding, but also giving some help, as opposed to, oh, I have empathy for your situation, I feel your pain. And now we're both struggling.

00:37:20
So I don't pretend to be an expert in psychology or anything like that, but I thought that was an interesting distinction that I just recently learned about as well. I think I've heard it phrased similarly, where empathy was somebody's ability to match the feelings somebody else's is feeling to understand someone else's feelings. And compassion was the willingness to take on other people's pain, other people's emotions, share the burden with them. Right? Yeah.

00:38:03
And we certainly do need more of that. Sure.

00:38:10
You didn't learn all of this just from hosting a podcast. You're a former army officer entrepreneur. Tell me a little bit about the background and how you came to be the host from adversity and abundance. Absolutely. I think life has chapters.

00:38:37
One of the chapters, after college, I was kind of done with team sports, and that was a huge part of my life, and then wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. To be honest with you. And the reason I joined the military at the time, I think a lot of people thought I was kind of crazy because my family really didn't have. We're not a big military family. I know some families, it's like, oh, that's just what you do.

00:39:06
Or all the people in my family is to serve, so I'm going to serve. That's not at all how it was for me. And I joined a little bit later than most people. I actually went through basic training and officer candidate school when I was 28 years old. That's pretty old at that time.

00:39:25
It doesn't seem old now, but to. Be going pretty long in the tube for the military. Yeah, it is certainly for basic training. And so why did I do that? And interestingly enough, my wife and I got married, and then I left for the military, and I missed our first three wedding anniversaries due to military training and deployment.

00:39:50
And it looked like I got married and then ran away. The reality was I had that in the works well before we got married, and then that's just how things fell. And as you know, you don't have a lot of control once you raise your right hand and sign that contract. But why did I join the military? It gets back to purpose and meaning and serving.

00:40:15
And at the risk of, sound, of patting myself on the back, that's not my goal. But I wanted to do something with meaning and purpose. I wanted my life to count right. And so once I didn't have the team sports and really something I was striving for, I felt I needed to be a part of something bigger than myself. And what better way to serve than to serve your country?

00:40:41
I mean, that's really what it was. Yes, I could have some. You know, there are other benefits to being in the military, but it was really about being a part of something bigger than myself and serving others. So, yeah, through all that, I ended up taking a role with the Department of Defense as a civilian. And I worked at Fort Mead in Maryland for 14 years as a civilian.

00:41:10
And part of that was part time. And then I started to build my real estate business, and now I do mortgage note investing and I have a loan servicing company. So I've started to build my, I didn't have that crazy story where I ripped off the band aid and quit my w two and figured it out. It was a slow build for me. I did have a family, and so I was able to, over the course of really a decade, kind of build up, have a w two income on some level, but then build up my entrepreneurial streams of income as well.

00:41:50
Briefly, the reason I started my podcast was that I was a co host on a mortgage note investing podcast. It was called the Good Deeds Note Investing podcast. I didn't start the show, but I was asked to be a co host, and I helped run that show for about two years. That was a fantastic experience. What came out of that was that I loved the human stories about adversity and getting to abundance and the mindset stuff that you and I are talking about right now.

00:42:23
And so, yes, it was fun. Fine. To talk about how do you make money on a non performing note? How do you navigate a foreclosure in South Carolina? What's chapter 13 bankruptcy?

00:42:35
That's fine. It's important to know if you choose to be an investor. But it got old, and what really appealed to me was, wow, how did this drug addict in Baltimore city who robbed multiple banks turn his life around by turning to real estate and quitting his job through real estate investing and become a fantastic member of society? That was unbelievable. Just as an example.

00:43:07
So I started to realize it's truly the human element that appealed to me. And so now, from adversity to abundance, quite honestly, has been mostly a passion project. Once this comes out, we will have been over. We'll have 100 episodes out. So does it make money for me?

00:43:27
No, it doesn't. It's just something that I love doing and I love learning from people, and I'm hoping that it adds value to the listener and to everyone out there. So that's really kind of the high level, long winded, but high level snapshot of how I got here. Well, with that last point about the podcast not making money directly, that's not the only way to benefit from having a podcast, you're networking with others, you're building relationships, you're building credibility for yourself and your business. Then you're also growing as a person as you hear these stories, these incredible stories, like bankrupt example, just imagining how much reframing of mindset that person had to go through to change the entire trajectory of their life.

00:44:39
Episode one, motivating podcast. In my podcast, check that. It's mark Owens. I had him on there. I've interviewed him twice, once on each podcast that I hosted.

00:44:49
But episode one is the one I'm referring to. Mark Owens. Incredible.

00:44:58
And the amazing thing about these stories is that the principles can apply to anyone. They really won't end up, you, listener probably won't end up in jail from being a drug addict and a bank robber, most likely, hopefully, right. But you can take the lessons that mark Owens learned and the principles that he applied and apply them to your life today. There's nothing stopping you from doing.

00:45:32
Know, of course, there's somebody out there that's dealing with their own adversity. Maybe they're in that low point. What are some actions they can take right now to start changing their mindset? Start taking. Start building up that inertia that we were talking about earlier, besides taking ownership, you mentioned earlier about communication, being able to ask for help.

00:46:00
What are some things that we can do? Yeah, I think that's a great question, because, again, it's nice to talk about. Change your mindset. Okay. Take care.

00:46:10
Well, that's not very helpful. Right. Some more tactical things. So, taking ownership, 100%. I mean, definitely.

00:46:22
You definitely need to view this situation as, this is where I am, whether it's my fault or not, it kind of doesn't matter. This is where I am, so own the situation. But that doesn't mean that you're by yourself. When I say own your situation, that doesn't mean you're on an island and nobody cares. And good luck with your problem.

00:46:39
No, you absolutely need help to get out of this situation most. So, of course, every situation is different. But I imagine, Aaron, when you were going through your most challenging times, you needed a lot of help. Right. And so there's likely no way you could have navigated that by yourself.

00:46:59
With my son's situation, we needed a ton of help from doctors and other professionals and experts and family members to get through that. So don't think that you're on an island and by yourself, communication is critical. There's certainly a fine line between whining about all of your problems that are not really that big of a deal. And hey, I really need help with this situation. This is what's going on.

00:47:27
So I think just being intentional about having people in your life who are there who do have compassion and are willing to help and can help and will listen, I think just building out those relationships and those deep connections is critical. This may seem a little bit off the wall, Aaron, but one thing that's been very helpful for me in navigating challenging situations is breath work. I never thought I would say this, but I've been doing regular breath work in the mornings for over, actually about a year now, and it's been huge. I mean, five to ten minutes, you can YouTube different breath work videos and there are different ways to go about it. Box breathing is one thing people can look up, along with communicating with family members and friends.

00:48:21
I think simple actions like breath work, daily actions such as breath work can go a long way in navigating stress.

00:48:33
Being a former military officer and a former lacrosse collegiate athlete, I never thought I would say things something like this, to be honest with you, but that's been a huge piece of very easy thing to do to implement today. I mean, you can literally start today. It's very accessible. And so if you're dealing with stress from a challenging situation, I highly recommend doing a daily ritual of breath work. You don't need a ten step morning routine that's going to take 3 hours, but five or ten minutes of breath work in the morning is critical.

00:49:09
And I would also throw in, I'd say prayer for me has been critical as well. I've stepped up in the last year my daily prayer and quiet time routine as well as breath work. And that whole thing takes 20 or 30 minutes each morning. It's not a big commitment, but it goes a long, long way. So I'd say communicate with friends, family, God, if you believe in God and then breath work are a few things you can do immediately to help navigate the day to day of a challenging know.

00:49:46
I was just talking to the guys from men talking mindfulness, John McCaskill and Will Schneider, and they do the box breathing in for four. Hold for four, out for four. What was it? Yep, exactly. Hold for four.

00:50:09
And they go through that actually on their podcast. One of the first things, they introduce their guest, they all do it together, and they say, if somebody is not familiar with meditation, breath work is like the first step. And a lot of what meditation is, is thinking what to think about or what not to think about while doing breath work. So I totally agree. It's very beneficial.

00:50:46
Totally. And I tried, and this is not to put down meditation by itself, but I tried it for a while, just meditating, and for some reason, it didn't stick for me. I'm sure there's something I could work on there, but the breath work actually brought it home where it was actually something I could understand and work through. And it does change. It's effective.

00:51:07
I don't know why. Meditation, another one of those things, another one of those practices that takes actual work. It's not something you just snap into. It's something I haven't put any work into, but breath work I can do. Yeah.

00:51:24
Well, and also, since we're on this point, just very briefly, I want to mention that people love to substitute meditation for prayer. And I don't think they're the same thing. I think they have maybe similar immediate effects. But to me, prayer is a communication. It's back to communication.

00:51:44
And that's not the same thing as meditation. Meditation. There's no one on the other end of the line, so to speak. So to me, those maybe look like similar practices from the outside, but they actually are not the same.

00:52:01
Yeah. Anyway.

00:52:04
I know you've got someplace to be, but Jamie, I had a great conversation with you, enjoyed talking to you again. It's been too long. If somebody wants to learn more about you, get involved with your fund, listen to the podcast. Where can they reach you? Where can they find you?

00:52:27
Yeah, absolutely. I'll try not to give too many ways to contact me because people get lost then. But From Adversity to Abundance Podcast and that's the number two because that was a cheaper website to buy, cheaper domain. From Adversity to Abundance Podcast is our podcast website, and you can absolutely listen to podcast episodes there. Like I said, we're over 100 now by the time this comes out.

00:52:58
And then separately, labradorlending.com is my main investing website, and we have a fund offering for accredited investors there. So From Adversity to Abundance Podcast, the number two, and labradorlending.com are the two ways to check me out. All right, I'll put that in the show notes. Thank you so much, Jamie. I really appreciate this chat, Aaron.

00:53:26
This has been fantastic. I hope your listeners get some value out of it. Thanks, man. Take it. Thank you for spending your most valuable resource with us.

00:53:36
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